Introduction
Those of Laitos discuss the subject of despair as a salutary stage of spiritual seeking. While it may attend feelings of loss, confusion, and angst, it also conveys to the seeker a new possibility for an aspirational self and new perspective on one’s life. That this transformation so often requires the breaking of the old concept of self and self’s possibility for further service and growth in the world is regrettable, for we must present a coherent and workable self to the world in order to participate in it. However, by enduring faith in a head-on manner, we learn to bring the faith to bear that our inner light is sufficient to carry on through many trials and sorrows, much as higher density entities have learned to do.
Channeled message
(Jeremy channeling)
I am Laitos, and I am with this instrument at this time. We greet you on a most unusual day in your experiences through this succession of events, happy and sorrowful. We wish to convey our feeling that the determination to carry on through moments of deflation, of low morale, these are sacrifices, my brothers. The care you show in offering us some ingress into your density to share our thoughts is appreciated and cherished more than you can realize, and it is the faith that we hold together in a project of glorifying our One Infinite Creator that moves us to your locus and moves you away from location to the more ephemeral states of consciousness.
We ask you, therefore, to recognize the changed state in which you mediate our words, and that you recall, when reviewing these words, that it is upon you the reader to determine the nature of this care, for it extends to the reading, the consumption, not simply to the creation and production. If we should share with you a thought that does not seat itself properly in your intention to serve, and reflect the unity that you feel within, know that this entire endeavor can be set aside for the part that it plays there. For you have served, you have put aside your weariness and other feelings of protection of self to move into the spirit of protection of the entire mind/body/spirit complex as a vessel. And that you value this latter protection–well, my friends, this makes all the difference.
What you are engaged in in part today is the ability to connect with the Creator through its emissaries in the spirit of balance and making room for a different perspective. This is no small feat. It is not easy to do, and it takes much practice in our experience to execute seamlessly and without friction in the third density illusion. One way of putting it is that it tests you; it determines on a vibrational level things that you might only have a hint or a guess about. And this is not easy to abide when one is veiled from the totalized connection to the vast resource of consciousness.
A consequence of this is that there will be moments when you will cling to a perspective in spite of its lack of utility in your project of service-to-others. You will cling because it is safe. You will cling because it is too much effort to cast oneself into the mystery once more. And you will cling because, frankly, you fear a different kind of selfhood than you now have.
This is understandable: you have responsibilities in this plane, and your ability to reproduce a coherent, identifiable, consistent self moment to moment is a major aspect of your ability to participate in the social energy complex of the third density earth experience. But it is hard, and it weighs on you. If you do not feel it in the mind complex or the body complex, then you have some glimmer of its weight on the spirit complex, and your ability or inability to identify where this weight is laying has very little to do with the effect on the total consciousness you bring to bear in the moment.
We are dancing around the topic of despair about which you have queried us on this day because we wish to situate it as part of your path. This is the first point we would like to make on this subject. Despair is not an indication that you have strayed or mistakenly acted. Rather, we would have you think of it slightly differently if you would allow us to offer this new perspective.
Despair is, in part, a clinging to an old outmoded perspective, one that served you in the past and therefore allowed you to have a certain level of trust in the self. And now? Now the floor has fallen out. It has hit you upside the face, and it is entirely understandable you would cry out and whimper. You are not made of steel; you could not serve made of steel. If your object is service to others then, my friends, you will from time to time have to endure the reconfiguration of perspective that despair entails.
To elaborate on this subject and the other qualities of despair that come into the awareness of the seeker, we would leave this instrument at this time, moving the location of contact to the instrument known as Nithin. We are those of Laitos.
(Nithin channeling)
We are Laitos and we are with this instrument.
The experience of despair is a powerful one in this density. Third density is one where mind/body/spirit complexes are forged in fire, and the fire of despair is hot, very hot indeed. When one experiences despair, it is a sign that the potential for change is very near and very close. Despair can be used for, or transformed into, great love and faith, or for those on the negative path, a greater desire to control and to become more powerful.
We suggest that one might best serve oneself as well as others by allowing oneself to fully experience and embrace the despair that is almost an inevitable part of catalyst here on this density on planet earth. It is through the poignancy of the pure emotion and experience of despair that can break through old patterns and systems of belief that one may not even be initially aware of that have been binding onself to old not useful patterns of thinking or conduct. That is not to say that it is necessarily an enjoyable experience, but it is one that can bring the seeker closer to the Creator
We now turn over the discussion of the nuances of the various types of despair to the instrument known as Steve.
(Steve channeling)
I am Laitos, and I am with this instrument.
Before we make an attempt to articulate some of the range of despairing experiences, we feel it would be useful to take half a step back and to consider the circumstances under which the sense of despair that we have attempted to describe as poignant through the instrument known as Nithin have come into being in the first place. For despair is not generally an experience that comes out of nowhere. It is usually an experience which takes the seeker off guard, as it announces itself in such a way as to suggest that an entire pattern of activity, or set of undertakings, have come to nought, or have reached what you might call a dead end, with no prospect for advancement in any way visible to the self.
Such a circumstance casts a shadow backward as well as forward, suggesting that the commitments that one has made, the attempts to serve that have been laid down, have been for nought, and thus would suggest a fundamental failing in the seeking, and a condition of failure within the seeker that cuts deeper than the mind is able to grasp. Accordingly, not only does it seem as if all avenues for successful endeavor have been closed, but the very worth of the attempt itself has been undermined, with the suggestion that the one who has made these attempts, himself or herself, is unworthy. Where in this vast creation is worthiness to be found for those who have not, within, the sense of this primordial worthiness?
O! It is a woeful question, my friends, and we would suggest that, more than anything else, it is this sense of unworthiness of the self that bleeds through into the frustrations that infest the more surface levels of those experiences which run under the banner of despair. Now, as we have suggested through the one called Nithin, the truth is that the experience of despair itself, when taken head-on, so to speak, can lead to a breakthrough, to a realization of possibilities, as we like to call it, of service, or, as you may prefer to call it, of self-realization and self-expression, possibilities which had not previously been suspected. Yes, that is true. Now we would like to suggest to you that the character of this breakthrough, as it registers in the deeper portions of the mind complex of the one undergoing it, the experience will inevitably be a fracturing or a breakage of the shell which seemed to confine the worthy self, such that this worthiness may be allowed to color the feeling of being a self that had fallen into disrepute, that had shriveled to a sense of possibility that amounted almost to nothing.
And so we would say to you that the sense of worth of the self, which comes not from any true sense of accomplishment, but from a mere allowingness of the healing power of the energies welling up from within is what amounts to the moment in which despair falls away. And we would finish this communication through this instrument by reinforcing that point which we made through the instrument known as Nithin, to the effect that the first real and genuine recognition of despair is itself already the very moment of opportunity for the overcoming of that despair through the act of faith in that which is yet to come. With this modest and simple thought, we would at this time transfer the contact back to the one known as Jeremy, I am Laitos.
(Jeremy channeling)
I am Laitos, and I am again with this instrument. My friends, we have traced a circle amongst you, and in this circle is a symbol of the process that despair is but a portion of. As we explained through the instrument known as Steve, the expansion and transformation of a self worthy to seek and to serve the One Infinite Creator must know the depths so that it may reach the heights.
We offer the concept of despair as not simply a milestone at which wailing and crying must ensue. Instead, you may look at your depths of pain–that deep spiritual pain that despairs of the goodness inherent in the creation–as a sign of the depth of feeling, of emotion, that is available to that worthy self that you are. The character of this feeling must be tasted. You will serve this Creator much more fully, much more vibrantly and authentically, if you can bring your memory of despair to bear on your service opportunities.
You can play a role in helping others appreciate their despair by appreciating your own and recognizing the vast nature of what you ask of yourself so that you may help others ask it of themselves. This is how the open heart transmits the possibilities to other selves that faith can endure through the darkness. And as other selves find the light within, they can reach back to the Creator and affirm unity in this moment to set up the next cycle of catalyst and experience that will contextualize transformation anew.
If you can hold the line and accept your despair, there need not be the friction simply because there is the sorrow, and as the brothers and sisters of sorrow, we are grateful to have this opportunity to communicate to you this nature of seeking. It is intrepid; it is in some ways foolish to throw oneself into the fire that burns so hot, as the instrument known as Nithin let us describe it. Accept perspective changes. Meditate to understand the self that must shift perspective, and you can recover and glorify what is hard and difficult in consciousness so that it can be an honestation to our One Infinite Creator.
And with this closing thought, we would offer the opportunity for a question or two from the remaining instruments, if they would choose that. We are those of Laitos.
(No response)
Very well, my friends. We are those of Laitos. You have done well this evening. Rest, share love with each other, pour your hearts out and your lives out. This is, too, the glory of the Creator, reflected in the pool of love that you create amongst each other.
I am Laitos, and at this time I take my leave of this circle, leaving you in the love and the light of our One Infinite Creator. Adonai, my friends, adonai.